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foxnewsofficial:

there was a lizard in the shower so i said hello to it and the person showering next to me was like “hi??” i wasn’t sure whether to carry on the conversation or be like sorry i was talking to a lizard 

(Source: foxnewsofficial)

yuniedc:

boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit

the-chandelier-swing:

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prettiestpotato:

coming out to your parents

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klefable:

shockingly, kids are sick and tired of paying hundreds of dollars for overpriced stacks of paper!!!!!! who wouldve thought!!!!!!

witness-protection-with-wings:

witness-protection-with-wings:

so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.

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i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy

(Source: witnessprotectionwithwings)

priceofliberty:

hellabiafra:

vegasmo:

Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”

*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*

Animal: *licks its own asshole*

human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*

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