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jackiebeulahburkhart:

sherlocksmyth:

"why didn’t you do your homework over the holidays?"

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This is the best thing I’ve ever seen

(Source: marvelcolm)

joshpeck:

when someone tells me to calm down when i’m talking about things i’m passionate about

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“But the Bible says…”

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ghosturie:

patrick-stumps:

ottermatopoeia:

mattniskanenseyebrows:

OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK

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OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
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OCTOBER IS TOMORROW

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I͔̟̠̻̽̋̌͋͌́̆T̶̠̖̙͙͈̐͂S̽ͥͣ̄̄̚͝ ͖̞̈́͗̄̿͐O̠̪̙͊ͯ͒͐͐̐̐Cͭ̃͛́T̍ͣ́ͮͩŎ̈́҉Ḅ̞ͦ̾̄͗̓͛͘E̸̥̩̦̝̲̊̉͋̅̋̒̿R̲̝͔̪̬͎̯̎̋

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thequeenofhell:

what Americans imagine being Australian means

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mattniskanenseyebrows:

OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK

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luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

whatwouldfezwear:

the-sarcastic-robot:

if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon

Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb. 

Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon. 

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I love that story

(Source: katorade27)

alphabitches:

when u steal a pencil in class

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